She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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