so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
