She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
