do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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