Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
