glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm at about main and main street
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
