Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
