Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
