I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
