yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
