Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
