it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
