i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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