Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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