Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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