I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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