Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
