im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
