I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
