oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
