I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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