please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
