so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
