i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
