thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
His nipple licking is glorious
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