they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
