what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
