What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
