Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
