Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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