Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
