If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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