All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
