I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
