1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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