u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
