also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
