Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
In America we eat man semen.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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