she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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