how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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