does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
