I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
