so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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