don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
