I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
