whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
