North Korea, Best Korea!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
