Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
