i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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