It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
