I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
