My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
