His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
