oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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